by Gil Camporazo
Cutting classes for a purpose
Rushed to Valladolid town fiesta to repose.
Many people thronged somewhere out there
From here, there and everywhere!.
Casually passing the plaza trees
Full of display - toys, and dresses,
Eyeglasses and everything in views
Including kiosks, extraordinaire shows.
Time past two in the afternoon
Heading to sea wall in a hurry tone.
Catching up colorful regattas
In fluvial parade pleasing-eye vintas.
People gradually vanished
Leaving the sea wall unnoticed
With two of them standing tall
Appreciating the tranquil sea call.
Look! shouted he.
What? asked she.
Pointing to the vastness of the sea
And she, of course, nothing to see.
"Tsup!" a smack sounded to her face,
A stolen kiss he made so fast in a race
To trick her unconsciously
For his love he made no delay.
She wept, tears falling down.
Pity was she but no remedy in town.
Afraid was she to realize this --
As indeed her first kiss!
"Bad boy - you're tricky; you're smart!"
"My heart, my soul has fallen apart!"
"I'm no smart; I'm no tricky." .
"My heart, my love express it so fully."
Time is far spent -
Both hurried headed home, they went.
For their parents were unaware.
They skipped classes for love's desire so dear!
February 28 - no other day to declare
Both of them - lovers of the day - no funfare!
No one else could ever dare to say
That this day as their life's momentous day!
About Me
The lack of measure and subject in the lines made the flow of the poem abrupt, always halting.
ReplyDeleteLike a car always screeching to a complete stop every 100 meters.
Free verse nga ... but I like the snaps of the tone of the poem ... abrumpt, rampant, no order which gives it more impact.
ReplyDeletenice poem. the tone fits the story -- abrupt, unpredictable, quick -- just like the stolen kiss. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't know why but when i reached the last verses, biglang tumayo ang balahibo ko sa nape. Hooo, it made me remember the first slap i recieved from my then girlfriend now wife :D except that we had our first kiss on top of a hill :D
ReplyDeletepoem is self expression and i'm glad you can do it very artistically Gil! you either is gifted or very inspired or both. i can only made poem when i'm very inspired coz not as gifted. medyo legalese utak ko haha. thanks for the nice read.
ReplyDelete@Brambleberry, @Kathy Ngo and @lovette jam - Thanks for your honest evaluation of my poem. Well, I did it that way I hurriedly stole a kiss from my sweetheart now my wife... Anyway sorry if this poems doesn't meet your standard for I could not please you that way you expect from a perfect poetry.. It's my own unique style of doing it, whether you like it or not.. :)
ReplyDeleteThere is part of the poem I really love to read and repeat reading it.
ReplyDelete"Tsup!" a smack sounded to her face,
A stolen kiss he made so fast in a race
To trick her unconsciously
For his love he made no delay.
I considered poetry as writing in perfection. I'm not perfect nor gramatically excellent. It's not easy to write a poem. That's a fact!
i should revisit writing poems....
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful poem. Great talent here. As expected :)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this piece, Sir. From the time they cut classes, to the stolen kiss (which was my favorite part hehe), until the time they got home. :-)
ReplyDeleteI really missed doing poetry. Thanks Sir Gil for sharing this ^_^
ReplyDeleteI like how your observation to others and the surroundings turned into a great poem .I like the cutting classes line, though I never done it before.
ReplyDeleteYou have very beautiful free verse. If I had to take it literally, the characters are very impulsive. :)
ReplyDelete(Sir Gil, I'm so sorry my comment didn't push through. I remembered commenting. Was going through the comment thread a while ago and saw you mentioned me. Had to check back this post.)
Did you have a course on poetry before? Writing poems is like crushing my mind to think about the rhyming words and also the number of words per line.
ReplyDeleteRe-reading this poem again. I missed this.
ReplyDeleteI personally think that it's really hard to construct a poem. Good job with this. Are you part of any literary guild of some sort? :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. Such a nice poem. I miss writing poetry. :)
ReplyDeleteI suck at making poems. But I know how to appreciate one and I like this one. You, sir, reminds me of my literature teacher way back in college. He makes poems like this, only in our local dialect. :)
ReplyDeleteI am also a Sumakwela writer, an Ilonggo writer, our dialect. If you could understand our dialect, you may visit my site:
Deletehttp://tumandok.wordpress.com/
wow! this is something sweet. I wonder what happened after that first kiss?
ReplyDeletesch anice poem. :)
ReplyDeleteIs this poem dedicated to some person in your life? I think this post will be better if there are pictures.
ReplyDeleteThis is versed edition of my love story. What I am describing here was my high school life with my high school sweetheart, now my wife. That was in 1970.
DeleteI like the ease you tell the story in a poem format. The flow is just so natural and the story is really well said about the first kiss.
ReplyDeleteThanks Franc... :)
DeleteI can tell that you are a talented person. Seldom I see and know people who still make good poems like you do. I suddenly got into a reminiscing mode back in my high school years where I love reading and constructing poems. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are quite the poet, sir. I can never do this. I love how you made something so simple (well, it's SO not simple when you're right in the middle of it) seem so surreal.
ReplyDeleteI knew that it was you who stole a kiss form your wife, lol. I enjoyed reading your poem Sir.
ReplyDeletehaha stolen kiss :D so cute - or was it you who stole the kiss? haha nice poem po.
ReplyDeleteAwww... that was pretty sweet! Oh, and that boy, was he very swift! (Oh, and it rhymes too! Hehe). That was indeed a lovely poem (despite the fact that they had to skip class). NOnetheless, it had great depth.
ReplyDeletenatawa ako sa tsup. heheh.. you really are a great poet..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteWow, another sweet story! You're very good in writing a poem! How I wish I were as good as you sir. =)
ReplyDeleteOh life's momentous day! This is such a beautiful piece :)
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful poem! I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing Sir. :)
ReplyDelete